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The Histories of Flintly of Golmir (excerpt)

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The Histories of Flintly of Golmir (excerpt) Empty The Histories of Flintly of Golmir (excerpt)

Post by agentofping 20th February 2016, 01:29

Flintly would once again take up residence in the city of Zyr during the reign of Emperor Thandamusk II in the turbulent and chaotic year of 905.  His eventful and protracted second visit to ‘the city of marble and misery’ would see him variously occupied as a slave, gladiator, pimp, priest and thief. He would make many enemies, including the Panderers Brotherhood and the Priesthood of Zyr as well as being indirectly responsible for the all-but-downfall of the ancient and thoroughly decadent Thieves Guild of the city. By the time he would leave Zyr – on a fast horse, in the dead of night, naked as a jay bird and pursued by a veritable host of foes - he would have, in a minor but significant way, added considerably to the chaos that was befalling the Empire of Zyr at that time.[1]

The ‘Little Rabbits’ stay in Zyr came about largely by accident during his time as one the Delinquent Four. What was intended as a quick ‘nipping out for some more halfling pipe weed’, would actually led to a series of poor decisions (not helped by a bad case of the DTs from Zyrian Green Brandy) that saw him parted from his once boon companions.[2]

Found by undesirable types lying on/in a manure heap outside the Lopsided Inn near Cattle Lane, once it was established that he a) didn’t belong to anybody and b) that no one had even been able to rouse him in over two days, his abductors slung his insensible body into a cart and - on the not unreasonable assumption that he was dead - tried to sell him to the Brotherhood of Necromancer’s and Dissectionists. When it was determined that he was not in fact dead - the smell notwithstanding - and what with the Brotherhood being terrible sticklers about that sort of thing, he was instead flogged to the slave pits and thence to one of Zyr’s minor gladiatorial arenas.[3]

It didn’t take long to realise that the life of a gladiator was not only bloody dangerous but ridiculously hard work. However Pictosh would smile on him and with the help of his thiefly skills (and a shiv he fashioned from a manticore spine) he and a number of his fellow prisoners[4] managed their escape.

On the run and hiding out in the Grudinion District – where as a semi-professional ‘dirty little devil’ he had many friends - he became, quite by accident he claims, a pimp to several young ladies. This occurred after getting into a fight with their previous procurer who, rather unwisely had attempted to turn him over to the authorities. The girls, only mildly distraught at the loss of their employer, never the less held Flintly to blame for their pending loss of income and so, ever the gentlemen, Flintly became their pimp.

Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth he took to his new vocation with gusto (and a surprising amount of hitherto lacking professionalism). Due to his kindly treatment, considerable reputation and unique attitudes (tempered no doubt by his following the ways of Pictosh and burgeoning interest in the Grudinion myth cycle) he soon found that many other lassies (and lads) of the night wished to join his operation. All this didn’t go unnoticed however and over the ensuing months he angered a fair number of existing pimps and madams.[5]

Whether it was luck, skill, or the favour of the gods, he was able to not only survive these sharp and pointy 'professional rivalries', but to make enough coin to purchase (although, technically steal) a brothel in the Grudinion District, which he named ‘The Plump Fatima’[6]. Although he can hardly be regarded as a social reformer, his fair and equitable treatment of his employees - though less frequently their clients - meant that he was about as reputable as one could be in such a profession.

1: Those interested in the full ramifications of the events of that singular and turbulent time in the history of Zyr can do no better than peruse the venerable Paldo Hulaan’s great work, ‘The Rise and Fall of the Zyrian Empire’.
2: However as they had seen fit to release a black dragon in the midst of the city in an ill-fated (and ill-conceived) assassination attempt on one of the city’s councilmen – which even Flintly considered ‘daft’ – this was probably no bad thing.
3: Being so monstrously hung-over, he could do little about this at the time as even articulate speech proved difficult for several days. However some satisfaction could be derived from the fact that by appearing so ill and sickly, nobody involved in the whole business made a single copper piece of profit.
4: These included the wizard Diplok and Faraz Zan who would become a notorious bandit leader.
5: A number of botched attempts were made on his life during this period and these failures would force the various aggrieved parties to join forces to better coordinate their efforts. This unlikely cooperative effort would eventually lay the roots for the Leisure Professionals Union; an organisation that would eventually acquire considerable political clout in Zyr and is still existent to this day.
6: He would eventually be forced to swap the establishment to Korab Knock-Knees and his missus for a fast horse and they would continued to run the 'Fatima' for many years.


Last edited by agentofping on 25th February 2016, 21:47; edited 5 times in total
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Post by kevinrolfe 25th February 2016, 08:08

Cool

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Post by Renny 10th March 2016, 09:13

Great stuff. Ah Flintly, how little we knew thee...
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